They Always Come Back

That's a phrase that my sister and I use in terms of men. They never seem to fully move on with their lives, at some point they always throw out a line to see if we'll bite. This has been an ongoing thing with me since I was a teenager. JT still calls to check up on me from time to time and we always wish each other a happy birthday and its been 12 years.

Its something about not letting people go from my life. Now I don't talk to Scott anymore but a couple other exes do still call to see how I'm doing from time to time. I have a point to all this, don't worry.

Toot and I have been back talking. Surprised? Probably not. I told you guys that I saw him last month and we've been talking still. I really tried to not deal with him but there is some kind of energy between us that makes his presence always wanted. I'm not crazy, I know that the situation we have is still very much present but its like, I really don't care at this point.

It's reckless, I know. My emotions are under control for the most part, even though at times, knowing that there's a possibility that we'll never get together sometimes would make me sad.

We are both very open about whats going on in our lives, so I told him about a guy that I've been talking to. He was jealous, it was a bit cute. The last guy that I met, he didn't seem to care about at all but that's probably because he knew I wasn't feeling the guy like that.

I can't be a hypocrite and blast on him for being a little mad that I met someone. I say that because I'm guilty of being that way in the past myself. I think a lot of us have been guilty of not being with someone but not wanting them to be with anyone else.

So jokingly yesterday he asked me if the new guy and I were married yet. I laughed and dismissed his silly question. He has been making even more of an effort to talk now and has done a couple of grand gestures. I asked him what has brought all this on and he said "this new guy you're talking to, I can't let him take you away from me."

The truth is though that the new guy I met, there is something special about him. We always find ourselves laughing and just enjoying each other. He seems to have all that I'm looking for in a potential partner and he has expressed the same interest in me. I know that I really like him because when he and I are on the phone and Toot calls, he gets first priority and I tell Toot that I'll call him when I'm done or if it's late, I don't click over at all, I just call him after I'm off.

There was a time when I'd get off the phone with my own mother to talk to him but things seem to be evolving. Now here is where I contradict myself...despite the fact that I have another interest, I let him talk me into taking a trip together next week. Right, crazy. I haven't told anyone about this and possibly its because I know that I'm wrong and really don't care to be lectured.

I did tell him that I still intend on talking to the new guy at night so he better deal with it. I know that at some point, I will have to stop him from trying to be apart of my life, but for now, that time hasn't come.