Thursday, February 18, 2010

All in the Name of Being Legal

So according to the law down here, you're supposed to obtain a driver's license before sixty days. You'd think that would be plenty of time but it actually slipped away pretty fast.

When I first got down here I was staying in temporary housing. When I finally found a place and got a different job, that was when I had the wisdom tooth issue. After that there never seemed to be time because like most new jobs, there was a probationary period that you couldn't take time off.

My first attempt at getting my driver's license ended after waiting in line for an hour only to be told that I needed an original birth certificate in order to apply. I told the woman I checked the website and I didn't see where it stated I needed a birth certificate. Her response to that was yeah the website is very confusing but it's on there. I left the office mad enough to choke somebody.

I had left a nice amount of my paperwork up north with my mom so she had to mail me my birth certificate. Now she mails me my bills express mail, but my birth certificate she sent regular snail mail. It finally arrives in the mail and I plan to go at some point during the week.

I got lucky when my training class let out early which meant I could head to the Driver's License office. You'd think that there wouldn't be so many people there at 1:00 on a Wednesday afternoon. Oh well, I had to suck it up and get in line.

After standing in line 45 minutes, I produced all the paperwork the woman asked for and felt like I had accomplished a small victory. She directed me to another lady who handed out numbers and after securing my number I went to finally have a seat.

Two hours came and went and I felt like a lottery winner when my number was called, I practically sprinted from my seat. The office didn't accept any type of credit/debit cards just cash and checks. I had my BFF check the website to see how much a new license would cost me and after looking around my car for a $1 in change I had the exact amount $24.

The lady ahead of me was taking forever and the processor in another line took pity on me and said I could step to her counter. I gave her all the paperwork and after her typing a word a minute, she finally had all my info stored into the computer.

"That will be $25," she said. My face was so flushed, you'd have thought I wasn't black. I asked her to repeat that and again she said $25. I leaned in whispering that I thought it was $24. She said yeah it was until about two weeks ago, we got new computers so it went up a dollar. I was screaming all kind of obscenities in my head. I quietly asked her if I could run to the car, to which she loudly asked "WHY?!"

I explained in my most hushed voice that I only had $24 on me. She told me to wait a minute and got up from her seat. She came back with a dollar and told me a story about how she was $1.64 short at Walmart last week and how embarassed she was. Two men in line behind her gave her enough to pay her bill and she wanted to pay it forward by helping me.

I thanked her and ran out of that office. I know that I'm next in line to pay it forward for someone else but man, was I embarassed!

Monday, February 8, 2010

The Charger

So Kelley and I as I told you guys are done. But of course it wouldn't be complete without one last story. The last time that I had went to his place I left my wall charger there. I politely asked him if I could have it back and that is when the madness began.

First, he was in agreeance, said we could meet up and he'd give it to me after he was out of church that day. I told him that was fine and I made myself get up so that I'd be dressed and out already when he called. By nine o'clock that night, I realized he wasn't calling. He did later call that night saying that he fell asleep but I was on another call so I didn't answer. You were sleep ALL day? Whatever, I thought.

So he plays this game for a few days while I'm attempting to recover my charger from him. Finally, I grow tired of playing these games with him. I ask him to let me know when I can get my charger and he in true Crazy Kelley form acts psychotic. I decided to retype the texts, I can't paint a true picture, you have to see this for yourself.

CK-You're a joke! DUH!! How u gon ignore me? I'm trying to give you your property. You're too young for your memory to be as bad as it is! You were on a call when I called you...remember?

Me-Yeah that night, you said you'd call me after church.

CK-Ok. I didn't call you after church...but Icalled u and I texted u later! Don't even try it! So, u really don't have a point. Call me when u mature...cause right now, I can't deal with u.


Me-So does that mean I can't have my charger?

CK-You can have your stuff.


CK-After you gimme some.

Me-I may be immature, but I'm not dumb, you're psychotic.

CK-So u admit that ur a little immature? Its ok. Just try n keep it real.

Me-No, I don't admit that.

CK-I'm one person who tries to lift ur spirits when ur a lil down. Don't understand why you wanna give me a hard time? But its kool.

The texting stops and the next day he resumes.

CK-Hey do u want your charger?


CK-I'll get it 2 u tdy


CK-I'll bring it to u

Me-Ok, just tell me where

CK-I can bring it2 ur apart comp, or u can coe get it?

Me-How about I come after work

CK-Sure! Lol...boi I tell ya?

Me-What now?

CK-Nothin. Lol! I was tryin 2 bring it to ya. Cause if u come here, I'm a want to do sumtin.

Me-Hand it to me through the door

CK-Beat it! U trick


CK-Lol...yo ass is straight phony. I did all that to see what was up with u! I know u don't want me to know where you live? I've given u chance after chance to be real with me, and u just won't. Cause you're not. U showed me u weren't reral when u flaked on me when I was hurt

Me-You have a lot of damn nerve, I know that. You and your games are childish and you're older than me. I expected more from someone your age.

CK-Im tird of u taking my niceness for granted! But that's what I get for trying. So, don't worry, I won't contact u again.

Me-Whatever, no one used you nor took you for ganted. You want everything your way and have from day one and that's not how life works.

CK-Now u going to tell me how life works? Ok? Get on out there and you'll see soon enuff??

Me-Yea, I'm telling you. No idea why you call yourself mad and at this point I honestly don't care. You have disrespected me and I don't care to even bother arguing with you. And furthermore, if keeping my charger will make you feel vindcated, then f--- you, keep it, I'm not about to beg you for my stuff.

CK-Lol...ok u win. Now come gimme some, so we can make up!

Me-Go f--- yourself, psycho!

That was the last I heard from him, can I just say once again, that I'm so glad I never told him where I lived!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Mr. Squid

So I had a date last night with a guy who was more like a water dwelling, multi-legged creature. He tried his best to make sure at almost every minute possible he was touching me in some shape or form. I've mentioned before that I LOATHE people that are like this. This was ony date number two and he kept trying to put his paws all on me. The first date he was so nervous he barely made eye contact, now that he elevated to night number two, I guess he decided he could be himself.

So Sunday morning, the day of or proposed date, he texted me at 5am talkin about good morning. There is nothing good about 5am, so why are you texing me? I never replied because when I finally did get up I was running behind for church. When I got out of service he had texted me again at 9ish. I replied saying hello. His response was that he was starting to get scared since he hadn't heard from me all day Saturday. Yeah, you didn't hear from me because I told you I had plans.

We met up at Dave and Busters and the plan was that we were gonna play pool. Now our plan had been made earlier in the week and we texted randomly thrughout the week. He tried asking me Friday night if I wanted to see a movie Saturday but I informed him that I already had plans. Well pool turned into eating dinner which turned into him buying a gamecard without even asking me if I wanted to play any games. The pool game wouldn't have been complete without him trying to come behind me and instruct me how to hold the stick. Then after we were done eating he literally pushes my back from the chair so that he can put his arm behind me and starts trying to massage my shoulders, right there in the middle of the pool area!

Finally we used all our game credits and you'd think ok, we'd call it a night right? NOPE! HE wants to just sit in the game room and lay his head on my shoulder. I sat there as long as I could and then I told him it was about time for my tv show to come on, so we'd better get going. His response was that he didn't care about my tv show, then tried to laugh it off.

It's a safe bet that I won't be going out with him again.