Sunday, January 16, 2011

Balancing Act

I mentioned in a previous post that I have made a really great buddy, BeBe. When Teddy and I were trying having our issues, she was there with advice but mainly, acclimating me to the city.

While we were hanging out, I saw more of the city than I had since I've been here. I barely have to use the GPS since she's shown me so many back streets. Living in the same neighborhood means that we do a lot of last minute plans and I have no problem with that because while I appreciate time at home, I also like to get out and enjoy life.

When I was younger and in a relationship, while I had the same best friends since elementary school, I saw them still, but totally immersed myself into my relationship with whatever boyfriend I was with. I had one boyfriend that would go to "Girl's Night Out" events, just to monopolize my time.

After getting a bit older and realizing how rude it was to tote boyfriends to every social event I attended, I found a happy medium for friendships vs. relationships.
I've only had one relationship to date, where I felt that the person I was in a relationship with had an equal playing field with their time for me and their friends.

This brings me to Teddy....He doesn't really have any friends. The friends he does have, he never sees and only talks on the phone with them every few months. He had a best friend but they fell out a few years back and he has recently tried to reach out to him, but the friend doesn't really seem to be interested. Teddy's repsonse is that's why he doesn't have friends, because you can't trust people.

I'm not naive and I've shared with you all the story about how my best friend slept with my boyfriend years ago, so I too, have been burned. Despite the fact that I've been betrayed, I am not closed off to making new friends. While I realize that everyone won't be your BFF, there's nothing wrong with having people to hang out with on occasion.

BeBe and I still hang out and Teddy seems to not like it all that much. He won't come out and say it but I've asked him and he said "go out and have a good time." While he is far from controlling, I think that he's jealous that I have someone to hang out with that's my age, whereas before I was really just hanging out with the older ladies from work.

I never ditch him to hang out with her but there are times that I go out at night with her and that cuts into Teddy and my phone time. Sometimes I'll see her several times a week. The other day she had a watch party for "The Game." She invited me and her other friends over and we all brought a dish, they had drinks, desserts and I even brought my Wii. Her friends and I just get along and that's a huge plus for me.

I'm not sure if any of you have ever heard of a movie called, "I love you, Man," but it was about a man who had no friends who was trying to meet guys so he would have friends. I put the movie in for Teddy to watch and he was so uncomfortable that I ended up turning the movie off. While I don't want him to blow me off to hang out with his buddies, I think it'd be healthy that he had some friends to hang out with.

I guess the fact that he doesn't have friends wouldn't be so bad if he didn't seem slighted whenever I hung out. Like I said, he says that he is happy that I've made friends because he knows that I'm social, but that he's more of a homebody and would rather stay in.

Have any of you ever encountered anything like this?

Wednesday, January 12, 2011


Today was a super long day. I did not leave work until 8:00pm and I had to stop and pick up a few items from the store. I went in the store for two items and left with two items, I was pleased with myself. One of my friends has challenged me to a $50 per pay period spending max, this applies only to shopping, not groceries, toiletries or anything of that nature.

The weather has been pretty chilly down here this week. My apartment put down table salt as a means of preventing the formation of ice, all I could do was laugh! For some reason, because I'm from the north, people think that cold is "my weather." I'm black, most of us don't like cold, no matter where we're from, northerners don't like cold either, we're used to it, but don't like it.

I've been making more meals at home lately, which is always a plus. Oh and my office got notice that we were being relocated to a different office space. I'm in a cube now but they are moving me to an office with the hater that I always tell you guys about. I am less than happy about this move, but as people seem to keep wanting to remind me, (like I don't already know) I'm blessed to have a job. She told me today that we need to come up with some rules about smells and noise. I think for some reason, she thought she was talking to a toddler, because how many adults need to talk about those things? She said smells have to do with approved sprays that don't disgust her and of course the noise was keeping my volume to a minimum. Ironically, she is louder than I am and always has people in her office and always screaming at her kids and husband on the phone.

I am desperately pleading that one of the jobs I've applied for come through so that I can get away from these clowns.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

So Far

I posted over on GP's blog that I've stuck to my weight loss efforts by not drinking pop or soda, depending on which term you use. The funny thing is it is only the 6th day into the year but I'm already beginning to feel a little better. I wonder if it's all in my head?

So far though, I have been eating healthy and keeping a food journal. I miss the days of being young and being able to eat whatever I want without consequence.

I have also started job hunting, as of last night. I am constantly reminded at work that people are getting laid off and that I should be blessed to have a job. While I recognize that times are hard, I don't feel that the economic crisis should keep me stuck in a job where they overwork me and underpay me, so I am back on the hunt. I had stopped for a while when I stopped having issues at work but I have big goals this year and they require me to bring home a higher salary.

I am trying to talk myself into going to the gym as I type this. I know that I need to and will go after I finish this post.