Wednesday, October 21, 2009


Hey Guys!!! I finally made it down to Texas. The drive was about 20 hours but I arrived safely. There is so much to do and I am making a list of what all that I need to get done.

My sister gave me a party Saturday and my friends and family came. I'm really going to miss them all but thanks to modern technology, I'm never too far away. I actually got really sad the last couple of days.

Well I am going to try to get a bit of rest, I'm beat. I will give you all more details soon!!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

A Decade

So I’ve been out of school for officially ten years now. This past weekend was our reunion weekend and I went to each activity that was held over the weekend. It was really nice seeing everyone, some people I hadn’t seen since graduation and some I could definitely go another ten years without seeing.

Friday night was bowling and I actually bowled a pretty good game. A couple classmates that I’ve known since elementary school showed up and it was nice talking with them. When it was just about time to go a fight ensued between two guys and the police came out in droves, at that point I decided it was time to go.

Saturday night was club night. We met at some hole in the wall that only had about twenty people when I arrived at about 11:00pm. The club had the nerve to have a $50 minimum if you were using your credit/debit card. I thought that was a huge joke, I’ve never heard of such a high limit being placed as a minimum.

There was a classmate of mine at the weekend’s festivities who was friends with Scott back when we were dating. It made me cringe to see him. He tried befriending me telling me stories about Scott and later asking me for my number. He kept asking me to go to breakfast after bowling but I wasn’t interested. So now back to Saturday. He called himself ignoring me at the club which was fine by me. Somehow during the night he made his way over to me, very much intoxicated.

I was talking to a guy I was friends with and had a crush on back in high school and here comes Drunky causing a scene. He literally hit the guy in the stomach I was talking to as he was reaching out to grab me from behind in the middle of my conversation. I was not impressed at all and I threw my elbow back into him while trying to regain my balance.

My crush was like wow, he was extra possessive and I asked around to see if you guys came together. I said no we didn’t and explained our last interaction was back in 2000 when I was dealing with Scott. Drunky did not get the hint and made it a point to come over a couple other times trying to dance.

We stayed at the club until closing and then my sister dropped me off at home. I turned my phone on silent as I do when I am really exhausted and don’t care to be disturbed. As soon as I hit the bed, I was out.

The next morning I woke up and Drunky had called me at 4am inviting me to the casino for breakfast, I was so glad that I had silenced my phone because he would have surely gotten cussed out.

One set of my girlfriends and I decided we’d have one last lunch together before my move. We had a nice time, we went to Benihana and the chef was taking forever playing with our food, I just wanted to eat. When I have a bit too much to drink I rarely eat so that meal at four was my first attempt at eating for the day. My friend tried convincing me that the only way to beat a hangover was to add more liquor to my system.

After eating we stopped and picked up a few groceries and each went our separate ways. I hadn’t decided if I was going to make it to the Class Dinner or not. I logged into FB and everyone was talking about getting ready so I made myself get ready as a final goodbye to ten years.

The hall that was rented was decorated in our school colors and they even had a huge 1999 balloon. There was catered food, an open bar and my favorite, cake. I decided to partake in wine as we toasted to friendship and those who didn’t live to make it to the reunion, one of my good friends was killed two years ago.

I was the first to leave the gathering and headed across the city to see someone I hadn’t seen in what felt like ages, more to come on that.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Another One Bites The Dust

So I haven’t talked to Teddy since Saturday night. I’m no genius but I’m pretty sure that’s the end of him. I still haven’t the slightest idea what happened nor will I probably ever know the true story. I did what YW suggested, I called him and texted twice and I received no response. Making those communication attempts were huge steps for me so I honestly feel like I made an effort but he just didn’t reciprocate.

I decided to go with this story that I made up to close the chapter of us. He got a call from an ex-girlfriend that he messed around with right before I met him. Their talking had dwindled when he saw what a great catch I was. Well let’s get back to his ex-girlfriend. She called him up Sunday and told him that she was pregnant. He was shocked to hear that he had a child on the way but being the kind of person he is, he decided that he would work things out with her and plan their future together.

He was so torn up about his impending child and hurting me that he decided to just erase himself from my life completely. He told me from day one that he hates confrontation so disappearing was the only rationale option he could make.

I will miss our conversations filled with laughter. I feel that every man I have met lately has been a step up from the one before. I know that one day I will meet my soul mate and I will use all these experiences to cultivate a long-lasting relationship.

I know that this whole story may sound crazy but leaving things incomplete may hinder me from just shaking off that he’s no longer apart of my life. The thing is its not like I have a problem meeting men but it’s the quality ones that seem to be lacking. Oh well, back to the dating scene I go.

Monday, October 5, 2009


I have knots in my stomach. I hate this feeling and whenever I have it my head is all over the place at the same time. I didn’t communicate with Teddy at all yesterday. This has been the first time since July that we haven’t spoken.

Our last conversation was Saturday night. I had called him after I attended my friend’s wedding reception and he was asleep. I asked him if he was watching tv and he said that actually it was watching him. So I said well then talk to you tomorrow. Yesterday came and went and nothing.

In the past, if someone goes MIA I just wait for them to resurface, they always do. This time, I could barely sleep last night wondering what was up. So I texted him this morning like I normally do and told him that I hope everything is going alright. Well he normally replies immediately to my texts but not today.

So now, I’m kind of confused as to what to do. I’ve learned in the past that if something like this happens, you worry thinking something may be wrong with the person. But I’ve found that 99.9% of the time, there’s nothing wrong with them at all and they’ve gone “missing” by choice. I kind of made it up in my mind that if I don’t hear from here either tonight or tomorrow that I will call him.

I already feel like I’m taking a big leap outside of my comfort zone by even reaching out to him since he hasn’t contacted me. I honestly just want to know that nothing is wrong. If he somehow decided that he didn’t want to talk any more than there’s nothing I can do about it. I just hate the knots in my stomach and not knowing.

What would you all do?