Sometimes I Miss Her

My junior year in high school I made a friend that I thought would be around forever. We were going strong for nine years until it was time for her to get married. The entire time we'd known each other she was back and forth with the same guy. They eventually had a baby and several years later he proposed to her after breaking up too many times to count.

The breakups were never easy and in fact were always drama-filled. I will never forget one time she called me so upset that she couldn't talk. I jumped in my car, running every possible light I could to get to her. When I got there I found out that he had choked her until she was nearly unconscious. She had his hand marks embedded in her neck as evidence of an argument gone wrong. He had also threatened to cut her hair which went halfway down her back. I was so upset that I cried with her. I called her sister and she thanked me for coming to her aid and gave my friend instructions for what to do if her boyfriend came back. Wouldn’t you know it, a few months go by and she takes him back?

Another breakup included him meeting women on the internet and hanging out with them. One girl in particular was always writing on his page and my friend decided to do some investigating and found info out on the woman. Needless to say, an hour later we were at the apartment of the woman and of course she asked me to drive so that her boyfriend didn’t know her car. It was a very dumb idea to drive her to the suburbs to catch her man cheating. The apartment complex had a guard at the gate and my friend panicked when he asked us who we were going to see and said that he had to call her to announce us. She told the guard no thanks and he politely instructed us to turn around and leave the apartment complex.

By the time we made it back to her house the boyfriend had called to say the guard informed them that a car fitting the description of my car had tried to come to the apartment he was at. His explanation for being over the woman’s house was that because she was a singer and he was a wanna-be producer, there was a legitimate reason to be at her apartment. Again, months go by and he’s back in good with her. But the drama with the other woman isn’t over, she goes to her page and writes how they’ve been together forever and she will always be around and how they have a child together, blah, blah, blah.

There were many more stories I could tell you all but the final story is the most important. My friend found out via phone log stalking that her boyfriend-turned-fiancé had been spending late nights talking to someone on the phone. Was it a surprise that this person turned out to be a woman? I hope not if you are still following the story.

Anyway, she called the woman on the phone and they decided to meet. They met up and the woman told her about how her fiancé had been over several times and even showed my friend a picture he and her had taken a few weeks back. Hearing this story to me sounded like the last and final straw. I thought he was the epitome of scum to cheat while they were participating in marriage counseling at the church.

It was very clear that although he was cheating a month before their wedding that the show was still going on. She had asked me not to tell her family what he had been up to and all I could do was oblige her wishes. When she originally started planning for the wedding she wanted me to stand up as a bridesmaid but at the time I had undergone testing and interviewing working for the government in Virginia and didn’t want to commit to a wedding and was unsure of when the potential job may call.
His latest indiscretion was eating me alive and I flat out asked her why she was still marrying him. Her response was that she believes in divorce and if it didn’t work that she would just divorce him. That comment was by far the dumbest thing she ever said to me.

I attended the bridal shower and wedding bringing the biggest gifts to both events. I even help set up the centerprieces since the hall was slacking and running very much bhind. Things were never really the same after that. In the beginning I was really hurt that our friendship wasn’t right and now we don’t talk at all. The sad part is that I feel she stopped talking to me because I wasn’t in her wedding. It’s not like I just said no, I didn’t want to leave her in a bind if I had to suddenly relocate.

She an I no longer communicate. I was her son’s Godmother. I think the part that bothers me most is that through all he did to her I was there. She took him back continuously after cheating on her and can’t let go of something that was out of my control.

It should come as no surprise that six months later they were separated and she was posting pictures with random guys on FB. Since that they have gotten together only to separate again. I have no idea their marital status at this point and seeing as though we’re no longer friends, it really isn’t my business. Sometimes I miss her but I’ve tried reaching out to her and it never seems to get us any closer to rebuilding our friendship, it’s more of a conversation of what’s been happening and empty promises to see me soon. Losing a friend is never easy but I’ve decided our season is over.

Knots

I have knots in my stomach. I hate this feeling and whenever I have it my head is all over the place at the same time. I didn’t communicate with Teddy at all yesterday. This has been the first time since July that we haven’t spoken.

Our last conversation was Saturday night. I had called him after I attended my friend’s wedding reception and he was asleep. I asked him if he was watching tv and he said that actually it was watching him. So I said well then talk to you tomorrow. Yesterday came and went and nothing.

In the past, if someone goes MIA I just wait for them to resurface, they always do. This time, I could barely sleep last night wondering what was up. So I texted him this morning like I normally do and told him that I hope everything is going alright. Well he normally replies immediately to my texts but not today.

So now, I’m kind of confused as to what to do. I’ve learned in the past that if something like this happens, you worry thinking something may be wrong with the person. But I’ve found that 99.9% of the time, there’s nothing wrong with them at all and they’ve gone “missing” by choice. I kind of made it up in my mind that if I don’t hear from here either tonight or tomorrow that I will call him.

I already feel like I’m taking a big leap outside of my comfort zone by even reaching out to him since he hasn’t contacted me. I honestly just want to know that nothing is wrong. If he somehow decided that he didn’t want to talk any more than there’s nothing I can do about it. I just hate the knots in my stomach and not knowing.

What would you all do?