Tuesday, May 26, 2009

The Wedding

So in typical wedding fashion, the ceremony started late. It was in fact, almost two hours late to be exact. Picture a bunch of people in a hot, cramped church with no air conditioning, it was miserable. When the ceremony finally started, a baby decided that then was the time to practive her vocals. She screamed for a good three minutes and the mother just sat there looking stupid. Finally after several dirty looks, she got up and went out with the baby.

My youngest neice was supposed to be the flower girl but she ended up getting sick and slept on my mom during the wedding in her pretty white dress. They also told my mom after she arrived that they wanted her to be walked down the aisle as an usher. She wore a pants suit and really didn't want to but she went ahead and participated.

Then they had a portable boom box playing music and when it was time for the bride to walk down the aisle, when she got mid-way, the music stopped. She stood there for a good couple of minutes, I'm guessing debating on what to do. Then I guess reality kicked in and she thought she better hurry down the aisle before my brother changed his mind and she damn near drug her poor elderly father down the aisle with her.

Her mother, who is an evangelist, did the prayer for them. It lasted a good five minutes, in prayer time, thats a LONG time. After a while she was just rambling and using words like uh... and um....Then she kept calling my brother by his nickname which I thought was a bit odd.

It seemed like everyone had a smirk or grin on their face who sat on my brother's side, knowing that these vows don't mean too much to him anyway and wondering who would be wife number four.

They waited in the back of the church and rather then there being a receiving line with the entire bridal party, it was just my brother and his new bride. I put out my hand to shake hers and she grabbed me and hugged me a bit too tight and close for my taste.

Next was picture time and like always in her pictures she wore the same sinister smirk she always has. She was barking out orders to everyone so in alot of the pics her mouth was open or her back turned with her arms in the air.

As we drove to the reception hall, we got a real feel for the small city, lots of projects and mobile homes. They were introduced in the church, prayer was done over the food and then it was dinner time. They had people stand in line and get served, the portions were so small and I was starving afterwards. Literally, a tablespoon of macaroni was being scooped out to us and the same size went for everything else. Even after spending $80 on ham for them, I got one sliver. Of course there wasn't liquor being served because they were already on a budget so everyone pretty much did b.y.o.b.

So my other SIL and I went to the store so that we could have our own drinks and get away from there for a few minutes. It was like a peep show in there, almost every woman and teenager in her family had on sheer, panty showing, boob popping out, outfits.

We decided to buy my brother's favorite drink so that we could toast with him. I went in the church to tell him we had his drink and my newly acquired sister-in-law says decides to let her couple glasses of champagne take over. She says loud enough for everyone in a 500 yard radius to hear "Trish, where you been? You acting funny, staying away because I got yo brother now?" I decided that I wasn't going to let her show out and I returned that he's been MY brother for 28 years and he'll always be and we'd see how long she lasts and I put my arm around him. She then tried to walk up on me and I put my arm up and pushed her.

I was fuming when I got back to the car and a couple drinks helped me cool down. The reception ended at ten and then they wanted us to come to an "after-party" at her sister's house. On the way there we decided to get some fast food because we were all starved. When we walked in with the food about three different people in her family asked why we got fast food and they had food here from the reception. Well how were we supposed to know that your family was hiding food? All we knew was that with the tiny portions they gave out that we needed something else.

By this point pretty much everyone had too much to drink including her cousin. She reminded me of Rasputia from Norbit. She informed us all that she was looking for a man and how she was a good worker and been at her job for nine years. To make herself an even better candidate, she told us that she was a clean person, she kept a clean house and a clean @ss. We all just sat there kinda with our mouths open.

My brother announced that he just realized that at 32 he is now a grandfather because his new wife is a grandmother. I informed him, in betweem laughs, that we had been talking about that all night and that it was hilarious. He also has neices and nephews older than him now. One of his new nephews always hits on me when he sees me and he's married. The creep waits til his wife isn't around and tries to chat me up and have some sort of physical contact with me, yuck!

At around midnight we decided to get ready to make the seventy-mile trek back home. I don't really know how to summarize the night, it was definitely....interesting. To cap off the night my new SIL informed me that we'd be invited back out for another ceremony for them in ten years, to that comment, I laughed until I cried and my sister shut my car door.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

When it Rains..

We all know this saying and it has definitely been pouring for me. I got a speeding ticket a couple of days ago and my water heater went out the day before that. Then yesterday I had a four hour conference and after about three hours of being back in the office my boss hands me an envelope. It was a written reprimend following up on a mtg that Dragon Lady, my supervisor and I had. They gave me an assignment that they wanted on a day I had scheduled off and pre-approved. I went to my union representative about it. These women have been on my back since I started and I'm tired of it. I have worked for my company about eight years and this is the first department I have ever had problems with.

In other news, I have started packing to move from my apartment. I am getting lazy with it already but I plan to use this holiday weekend as a time to get things packed up. The company I hired wants to charge me $355 to move me fifteen minutes away. While I don't want to part with that kind of money, to have to call friends and family and rely on them to help is far worse for me. The greatest part about packing for this move is knowing that in a few short months I will be packing yet again to move to Texas and that in itself is motivation.

Oh and breaking news...my parents have reconciled!!! It has been the longest five months in my life but I can't remember the last time I've been so happy. They both took separate vacations, my dad went to see a bachelor friend of his and my mom to see my aunt in Arizona. When my dad came back and told us about his trip, we could tell that he saw the other side and the grass wasn't so green. His friend who had all the space and time to himself was lonely and miserable and my dad saw that first hand. The saddest part he recalled to us from his visit was that his friend goes to a local liquor store down the road and buys a pack of cigarettes and the store owner rations him out four cigarettes per visit so that he doesn't smoke too many.

While my mom was gone my dad moved back to their room and she told me that they talked and they are both going to work on their issues. My mom's happiness made all my drama seem insignificant.

Oh and I got my grades back from this semester. In accounting I got a B and in the business class I received an A. Considering I have been out of school for five years, I was very proud of myself. My mom was too and she offered to buy me a laptop for my great efforts. I told her I'd mull it over and get back with her.

One last semi story for you guys. My little brother, the woman-hitter is trying to come back home. We think its great because he needs an a** whooping and some help. The not-so-good part is that he is trying to bring the wife and child. The circumstances in which they left leave me wondering how its possible for all this to happen but I'll keep you posted.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Truth Hurts

So I'm back from Texas and I had another goood trip. It wasn't really as good as last time. I told Toot that I was glad that we met and he said I shouldn't say stuff like that. Yesterday I pretty much decided to end things with him. I know we all have pasts and some type of baggage but I need to protect myself before my feelings get any more invested. I can't say I'm not going to miss him because I miss him already.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Weekend+ Today

Saturday was a pretty alright day. I got to do a bit of shopping and found a couple of great deals from O.ld Navy, including a summer dress that I could not find a tank top to accomodate with it. I then went to the nail shop and said I wanted the works. Well I thought what I was geting was the works until this lady came in and asked for the works including her beard and mustache! So I am trying to come up with a new term for a pedi, fill-in and eyebrows.

Next was a quick pit stop home to gather my school books and then meet my sister and cousin for dinner. We went to a Chinese buffet, a normal spot of ours, and we had a good time. I had only ate a bowl of cereal that day because I knew that I like to big out when it comes to the buffet. I was mad that after only two plates, I was stuffed.

I convinced them to accompany me to the mall where I was looking for an outfit that I saw online in Forev21. I got to hear from my cousin and sister how "skinny" I was, although I'm a size 12, far from skinny. I always combat them saying that compared to them, yes I guess I AM skinny. It is so irritating to be criticized for being smaller than everyone you hang around. Whenever I try to lose weight, they all but call me a witch and hang me at the stake.

Finally after a day of shopping and eating I settled in front of the computer to do my homework. This was the last assignment due for the class and then I had a final to do Sunday. When I opened up my assignment it was through a Word document that I had emailed to myself. I made sure to hit copy every ten minutes or so.

My sister started to hound me about going over my cousin's house to make daiquiris so I finished up the section I was working on and got ready to shut down the laptop. The crazy thing is that for some reason right after I saved it, I tried to open it again just to look at how much more I had to complete. Thats when I discovered that my paper was gone. It was sucked into the abyss of technology, never to be heard from again. I was upset. I have never in my life lost a paper and here it is deadline time and my paper is gone. I looked everywhere for it, in the history, in the most recent documents, temporary files, you name it, I looked there.

I gave up the search at about 11pm when I realized that I had to do something because the assignment was due at 11:55. I pulled up the original, incomplete assignment I had emailed myself and began typing away as much as I could so that I could submit something. I was determined to get an A in that class. I ended up turning in about 60% of the assignment but again I rationed something was better than nothing. I spoke to Toot for a little bit and then I headed to Dreamland.

Sunday morning I woke up and called Toot, us talking in the morning has become our routine. He and I were both tired, but he's so exhausted in the morning, so I try to keep him alert til he gets home. We talked about quite a few things, including my upcoming visit. I hate that I think so much. I have our whole time planned and I haven't even gotten there yet. I've been trying to live in the moment and its proving a challenge for me. It's so crazy because I look forward to seeing him, talking to him and cuddling with him, but remember how I used to feel about the ex? Not the same feeling at all. I'm pretty sure the issue is me though and I have to slow things down so that I don't get bored with him.

My siblings and I had decided to take my mom to breakfast after 8am service at church. Two of my siblings were crying broke about breakfast and the one who didn't and I were both annoyed. It's like she's our mom and there are four of us, surely we can all chip in on breakfast?! Then when I mentioned a gift, my sister asked if I had changed my mind about us taking her to eat. I told her that if she was that broke, that she didn't have to go in on the gift.

Now it may seem that I'm being harsh, but let me give you a little history behind why I was being so crude with her. First of all, she lives at home with my parents and doesn't pay rent or bills. Second, she's 25 and makes about $18 an hour and has no children and no car note. Lastly, she had a bankruptcy about a year ago so the majority of her bills were written off with the judgement. So I guess my question is, where is her money going? Savings, you think? No. She is supposed to be moving in July when my parents move, which coincidentally, she chose to rent in the exact same complex that they chose. Tell me why she has no money saved up, because I don't know why. Then she decided to take a trip this week too, just like I am and paid about $800 for the trip but now has no spending money. She informed me that she is going to go take out a couple payday loans so that she has money for her tip.

Breakfast went fine, although one of my brothers ended up somehow only contributing $25 for himself, his three kids(2 which are preteens) and my mom's portion.

Next was a stop to my grandparents and I ended up dozing off on his plush couch. But I didn't doze off soon enough because I heard my grandfather say that everybody sitting on the couch was fat. Good ole' grandad, nothing like him lifting our spirits.

I finally got home at about six and talked to Toot for a while before he hurried my off the phone to do my online exam and study for today's final. I pull out the laptop that screwed me over the night before and as I'm in the folder for the class I notice that the exam isn't there. Frantically, I begin looking for the syllabus and any emails that the professor may have sent us saying that there was a problem accessing the test. I emailed her and hoped that she'd get it before the night was over and the test was to close.

She wrote me back a nice, matter-of-fact, email. Her email stated that the exam actually closed Saturday night but that she would open it for me for 2 hours to get it done. I was so very appreciative. When it was all said and done, I got 100% on the final and an A in the class. So just one final to go tonight and I will have gotten through a semester of school. I plan to spend the rest of my afternoon at work studying.

Friday, May 8, 2009

JT Part 3

So I am going to continue from the last JT story....

After having my friends call me on a 5-way call, I decided that I'd had enough of making plans to get stood up. I started to make plans with them and squeeze him in when I was free. He hated it and complained all the times that my friends were more important. I told him that my friends were consistent and those are the kind of people that I like to deal with.

Prom time came and of course we were going together. We had talked about dresses and tuxes and he had even gave me the money for the tickets. So the big night finally rolls around and as his family came to my house, we all wondered one thing. Where is JT?

No one had seen or heard from him in hours so I began to panick. All I could think of was how I wasn't going to go to college because I'd be in jail for murdering JT for standing me up for the prom.

As time passed and no one heard from him, I sat there wondering why I let myself get put in this position, yet again. All my pictures from that night have me with a scowl on my face.

After a couple hours of waiting it was brought to my attention that he had made no arrangements as far as transportation for us. His aunt ended up letting us take her Range Rover. While it was nice, I was in a dress and ended up having to hop up in into the truck.

When we finally made it to the prom, it was beautiful. Our high school gym was on the verge of being condemned so they had rented a ballroom at a hotel downtown to host the prom. It was great seeing all my friends and classmates and finally I could get to the fun part of the evening, or so I thought....

I went to my neighborhood high school so these were the same people I have known since elementary school. You'd think with that being the case, that JT could have been civil to them, but no, he had no common sense. A male friend of mine came to the table and told me how nice I looked and tried to shake JT's hand and JT said no and sat there. My friend was like "are you serious man?" JT, in all his ignorance and foolishness said yes he was and he wouldn't offer up a lousy handshake.

The night pretty much went downhill from there. We didn't dance once and by midnight, I was ready to go home. With the night being ruined and my decision to totally ignore him being the tone for the rest of the evening, I laid my head to the window and fell asleep.

When I woke up we were at his friend's house. Let me take that back, he was in his friend's house and he had left me in the truck. I was infuriated, I almost beat a hole in the door telling him to come out. Turns out he had been in there an hour and just left me outside. I cried and told him he ruined one of the most memorable nights of my life and told him to take me home.

Things never really got better between us. They actually got worse. The days between us were coming to a close for me when JT, his friend, myself and one of my best friends were walking through our neighborhood together.

We got into an arugument for whatever reason and he decided to call me a b#@*&. It was horrible. Not only did he call me out my name, but in front of my best friend. We left him standing there and he started to call and page me, apologizing repeatedly, saying he'd never call me that again.

In the meantime, I had started college and was working part time. He was still doing nothing with his life and made it a point to let me know how I wasn't any better than him on a daily basis. I worked at a cookie place in the mall and had noticed this guy who would always come and order the same thing everyday and linger around, trying to get a convresation going.

So on this particular day, I called JT from work when I had a break. His tone was confused and I was trying to figure out why. So he says "oh you're at work?" I tell him that I am and he can see it for himself by looking at the Caller ID. He then goes on to forewarn me that he had left me a message on my answering machine at home, but to disregard it. I pressed him, asking what the message said and he just told me to delete it and not even listen.

JT must have been a fool to think I wouldn't fly home after work to hear that message. He had apparently forgot that I worked that day because he left several messages about how he was mad that I was ignorning his calls. In the final message he left, he called me another b#@*& and said he was mad that I was playing games and not answering the phone.

After calming myself down, I dropped JT's sorry tail. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. The next day at work, the guy who always sparked up conversations finally made a play and asked me if I had a bf. I replied, no, we just broke up. We exchanged numbers and went out that same night. He showed me how a man was supposed to treat a young lady and after a few weeks, JT was nothing more than an afterthought.

But if you think that JT let it end there and bowed out gracefully....you're wrong....

The Marrying Man

Last night I met up with one of my older brothers for dinner. As always, we had a good time, filled with laughter and drinks. We went to his favorite restaurant, J.Alexanders, where all the staff knew him, which was no surprise. One of the reasons he treated me to dinner is because I loaned him money last week to put a deposit down on his wedding suit. Now how weddding was 21 days away at the time and he was just getting to ordering a suit....hm...

I know that part of the reason is because he was in a car accident recently that has him off from work and without income. His fiance was working part-time and going to school but she had to quit school in order to keep up with their bills.

I guess my thing is, if you don't have the money for a wedding, why not get married and just have a gathering afterward? I'll tell you why. The reason is because he's marrying a 40 year old woman with three kids and three baby's daddies and she has never been married. To me, he feels like he owes her a wedding.

So he's been borrowing from us, his family, to try to pull off this wedding. He even drew from his pension to be able to pay us all back and to afford the other wedding details.

He was telling me about a story involving a chick he was messing around with at the same time as his fiance. Apparently the other night, the woman called and left him a voice mail saying how she hoped that she'd be waking up in his arms on this particular morning. His fiance got to the message before he did and all hell broke loose. She confronted him, asking how he had the nerve to be cheating and they are so close to the wedding date. He assured her that he wasn't cheating and even called the woman in front of his fiance saying that he told her not to call him because he's engaged.

In true to male form, after he got frustrated with the fact that she didn't just fall into his arms with his explanations that nothing was going on with the other woman, he flipped it on her. Told her that he wasn't and hasn't been messing with the woman, but that if she doesn't want this anymore, then they can call everything off now, including the wedding.

I guess the idea of the wedding not happening calmed her down because she called me the next day and left me a voice mail that went like this.

"Hey Trish Trish. I was just calling to see if you were gonna stick to your word gal. Ha ha, just playing. Call me when you can."

First off, she and I aren't cool, so her message sounded so fake and scripted. Secondly, when she asked if I was going to stick to my word, she was making reference to the ham that she asked me to buy and bring.

The only reason I am bringing the ham is for my brother's sake. He called me saying that she didn't feel like his family was too involved. I told him that maybe if this wasn't his third wedding, that we'd be a bit more excited. She also asked me to decorate but I told her that I don't have an eye for that stuff, because I really don't.

While he talked about the women he's been with over the years and all they had done for him and what this fiance didn't do, he said something that struck a nerve with me.

I asked him why he was choosing to marry her when he has all these options that he brags on. He said that she was a hard worker. I said hell, so is a Labrador! I then told him my own fears about marriage and the obligation and responsibility behind it and asked him if he was sure he was ready for that yet again.

The Marrying Man went on to explain how he was again ready to be married. So I then said well why do you cheat? He said that he hasn't cheated since CHRISTMAS and how he's doing good. Mind you, CHRISTMAS, he was engaged to her. In fact, he proposed to her on Thanksgiving but he didn't even tell us, she told us sometime in early December at my little brother's wedding reception.

As I sat there thinking about how he admitted to cheating a little over four months ago, I thought back to last month. One Friday night I was exhausted and hopped in bed by ten. I was awakened to a phone call by him saying that he wanted to go out. Clearly, im in bed and sleep so that wasn't going to happen and I told him that. So he said well in case you get a call from anyone, you and me are hanging at Club XYZ tonight. In my half-sleep state I said okay, bye and hung up.

Doesn't that sound like someone who needed an alibi? If you were with your boys or just getting some alone time, why would you have to use me as your cover story?

His wedding is now 15 days away and I am not excited, not even a little. I think he is making a huge mistake and that he just likes being married, but he doesn't know how to be a faithful husband. He cheated on the other two wives and cheating on this fiance...See a pattern? I also think she is a bit crazy. Sometimes I catch her just staring at me. She always makes quiet little remarks that I have to check her about and she calls him a million times a day to keep tabs on him. Why marry someone you don't trust?

I know this isn't my business and ultimately, the choice is up to him but this will be the last wedding that I spend my hard-earned money on for the Marrying Man.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Group Project

Ever since I can remember I've despised group projects. Even at this level of schooling, it still remains to be a problem. We have a presentation to do for my Acocunting class that has to be 10-15 minutes. It was given to us about three weeks ago, but you know how people are when they feel they have all the time in the world to get the ball rolling.

Well as time approached we felt it neccessary to get the plans together. Our first scheduled meeting was an indicator to me that this group project would be no different from the others, drama. Out of four of us, only myself and another lady showed for the meeting. After about 45mins, my classmate called the other two members. One lady explained that she forgot and she was on her way while the other didn't even answer the call.

In the meantime as we waited for the third member to arrive, the two of us went over ideas and got our ideas together. The lady who "forgot" finally showed up and then had the nerve to want to offer her opinions, thus making the meeting even longer than it should have already been.

Since the presentation needed to last an entire 15mins, I suggested we do a small skit, show a video clip and do a power point presentation. Well the late member decided that too many different things would make the project muddled. My thing was, better to have a lot of different approaches to keep it interesting and actually make the time limit than to not have enough information.

The timely member and I had decided that she would type the paper and that I would bring the movie clip in, along with doing the powerpoint presentation. Again, the late-comer had a problem with this and rather than saying so, I read her facial expression and asked her if she had a problem. This is when she stated that she wanted to do the powerpoint. I asked her if she was sure because I had already planned to do it. She reiterated how she really wanted that portion of the work. So I then proceeded to ask her when she'd have it done so that we could all review it and divide who reads what, since all members have to read. She tells me that she'll have it by 11am the next morning.

So 11am comes and goes and no email. She finally ends up sending it later on in the evening. Since the nixed the skit idea, we decided that there should be 20slides, 5 per person. Do you know that the slides she sent only totaled 7! Out of that 7 only 3 of the pages were completed and the other 4 were just titles. This was Thursday and no one has heard from her since. Our presentation is tonight and I am at a loss on what to do at this point. I woke up a couple times during the night thinking about an alternative. If I don't hear from her by lunch, I am planning to put together something myself, even though we gave her all the information for the slides.