Wednesday, July 29, 2009

A break

So its Wednesday and my week has yet to get better. Usually when I have a downpour of bad, an abundance of blessings are around the corner. I'm trying to just keep to myself so that I don't hurt anyone's feelings in the midst of this storm. It seems like people just don't understand when you don't want to be bothered.

My mother has been trying to force me to talk and that makes me all the more unwilling to talk. Aren't I entitled to want just Trish time? She and I played phone tag until I just said forget it. I think I am going to text her that I will talk to her when my mood is better.

Little brother decided to stay here and work so that he can get the money together for his wife and her son to be able to come back into the States. So of course he asked to use my car today. He was just sitting in the house bs-ing around and I pulled off and left him. Then I had to say to myself, he is using it to work, not just drive around so I went back and got him.

I just need to get my head and emotions together. I don't like feeling like this but I just can't help it. One of my friends mentioned making me dinner tonight. If he doesn't I'm thinking maybe I will treat myself to a movie, just to get out of the house.

Monday, July 27, 2009

What a Way.. start a Monday. I was driving in this morning and this truck in front of me hit a piece of what looked like particle board. It flew up in the air and there was no where for me to go so I rolled over it. I immediately heard a scraping sound but I could still drive it. When I got to work to assess the damage, it had almost completely tore off my bumper. I was so angry. There was nothing I could do to avoid it and it wasn't the trucks fault, I have no idea who to blame but the fact remains still that my car is damaged. As soon as I was finally able to start my savings to relocate this happens.

I know that this is just a test for me. I proclaimed last night that I would have a good week and this was a poor attempt to steal that away from me. Luckily, my dad was in the neighborhood and came to look at it. He thinks I should try to get a new bumper from a junk yard and should have someone put it on rather than file an insurance claim. I just hope that this doesn't set me back too much.

My sup is on vacation this week so its just me and Dragon Lady. If she knows whats good, she'll stay out of my way today.

Monday, July 20, 2009


So I have a confession and who better to share with than you guys. When I went to TX I saw Toot. I know, I know but he had gotten in touch with me and asked to meet up and I couldn't resist. My plan was to just show him how great I am still and even better (I have been working out a couple times a week again).

Well I think I may have made things worse for myself. All those old feelings came rushing back as soon as I saw him. I don't know what it is either. He isn't the best looking guy I ever talked to, nor the tallest and he's a smoker....

Originally our plan was to go to dinner Sunday, which turned to lunch plans instead. Then he asked if we could see each other Saturday too. So seeing him two days in a row was good but bad. The reasons that I stopped talking to him are still very present and yet, I wanted to be in his presence anyway.

Sunday when we parted ways I was sad, I can admit it. We've been talking mostly through email since I left. I've been trying to talk some sense into myself. I did so good those six weeks with no contact. But when he texted me about how he knows I asked him not to contact me but he missed me, I melted and let the barrier down.

I know that suppressing my feelings for him won't help but I'm convinced that once I meet someone that I really like that I won't think about him so much. I hope it happens because I'm really ready to have a happy and healthy relationship.

I feel so much better now that I got to get that off my chest.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

He's Here

So guess what everyone? My little brother is home. He will be here for about three weeks. I haven't seen him as of yet though. I heard that he's supposed to have a tude with me because he read a message btw me and his misses about how she doesn't need to go for the treatment he gives her. But he wasn't mad enough to say anything to me about being mad so oh well. Anyways, my mom took it upon herself to tell my brother she heard he was mad at me. He denied it but I know he is. I still love him though, nonetheless and I can't wait to see him.

I think that at some point he will get tired of sleeping on the couch at my parents apartment anc come to the house with me. I'm sure he'll want to use my car and I will more than likely give him some money as well as my other siblings. Hopefully we can all talk some sense into him.

Do you guys know that his wife had the nerve to be mad that he was coming home for a few weeks? Mind you, this is after she called all of us here in the States Saturday, saying that he was being abusive which included pulling her hair and calling her names. My parents thought they better get him away as soon as possible before something happened that neither of them can take back.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Outside My Window

I'm sitting at my desk just gazing out of the window. Before I got this promotion, I always wished for a window. Now that I have one, I think dang, this just makes the work day go longer because I want to be on the other side of the window.

Not too much going on today other than my office piling last minute work on me as they always do before I take vacation. I'm headed down to TX for my "friend's" graduation. He has me kind of nervous, his family has been asking all these questions about me. I feel like I'm going down for an interview. But as long as everyone is cool I'll be fine.

I have a list of things that I need to get done before I leave. When my sup gets back from lunch I am going to run an errand and hopefully be able to grab some lunch too.

After work I have a hair appointment so I hope I'm not there all night. My sister actually agreed to babysit my poochie so I'm relived about that. She came over yesterday and went in her room to gather more of her things and all the while left her bedroom door open. I stood there like the Orkin man, making sure all of the gnats from her room were dead and not trying to escape. I was so annoyed that she had that door open though, I hurried her out of there as quick as I could.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Peace and Quiet

I finally get a day of solitude and it's amazing. I ended up helping my parents and sister move over the weekend and it was very tiring. My parents left their dog here so I have been taking care of him the past couple of days. He's a good dog but so big and affectionate. A lot of times I find myself pushing him off of me.

A couple of weeks ago I interviewed for a job but I didn't get it. I was a bit disappointed but I know that at some point I will get the job that I'm meant to have. I'm just glad I didn't tell too many people because the few people that did know hounded me about it. I know that they were being caring asking about it but its like if I really heard back and they offered me the job, don't you think I would have shared that?

Of course I have a story about my sister. Moving day, she went to work, leaving us to handle her move. I was upset that my parents would even allow her to get over on them like that but whatever. The night before they moved, she discovered a nest of gnats in her room in her dog's food bowl. I was totally disgusted. Of course she opened the door to her room to air it out which meant that she loosed them into the rest of the house. By Friday morning they had taken over the house and I had to eat outside in the car because they kept trying to land in my breakfast.

The final insult came yesterday when she came over to gather some of her belongings and take her dog to her new apartment. We had ordered Chinese food and brought it back to the house. We were downstairs getting ready to eat and she says I don't want to eat here, there are too many gnats. If I could have I swear I would have choked her just til she was about to pass out. That is how furious I was. Then she was like, "do you get it? I'm saying I don't want to eat here and I'm the reason for the gnats."

She then asked me if we could go up and eat in my room. I decided that since she wanted to piss me off I would do the same. I told her that she couldn't eat in my room because she will spill and leave a mess and not clean up because she never does. She was so offended and I was glad because we both know its true. I would go take a picture of that hideous room she left but I don't want to risk any of her bugs breaking free. I am going to use a bug fogger tomorrow while I'm at work and hopefully that will take care of this big problem she has created.