Confession

So I have a confession and who better to share with than you guys. When I went to TX I saw Toot. I know, I know but he had gotten in touch with me and asked to meet up and I couldn't resist. My plan was to just show him how great I am still and even better (I have been working out a couple times a week again).

Well I think I may have made things worse for myself. All those old feelings came rushing back as soon as I saw him. I don't know what it is either. He isn't the best looking guy I ever talked to, nor the tallest and he's a smoker....

Originally our plan was to go to dinner Sunday, which turned to lunch plans instead. Then he asked if we could see each other Saturday too. So seeing him two days in a row was good but bad. The reasons that I stopped talking to him are still very present and yet, I wanted to be in his presence anyway.

Sunday when we parted ways I was sad, I can admit it. We've been talking mostly through email since I left. I've been trying to talk some sense into myself. I did so good those six weeks with no contact. But when he texted me about how he knows I asked him not to contact me but he missed me, I melted and let the barrier down.

I know that suppressing my feelings for him won't help but I'm convinced that once I meet someone that I really like that I won't think about him so much. I hope it happens because I'm really ready to have a happy and healthy relationship.

I feel so much better now that I got to get that off my chest.