Thursday, April 9, 2009

Home Again

Thanks to everyone who wondered where I'd disappeared to. I have been lurking here and there. There is so much that was going on that seeing it written down may have made it even harder to deal with. I'll give a couple brief recaps.

For one, my parents have been at odds with each other after 29 years of marriage. This was the hardest thing of all to bear. Things are slowly getting better with them and I hope that by their 30th anniversary in July, that all our lives are back to normal.

My youngest brother that got married in December decided to take up a new recreational activity called "hit the wife." I'm not making light of abuse by any means, it disgusted me to hear that he'd ever put his hands on a woman and even worse someone that he made a commitment to God to love and cherish. My father has never put his hands on my mother so my brother has let his anger manifest from somewhere else. The worse part is my nephew(his stepson) having to witness all this. He's a child and children should have their innocence as long as possible, or at least thats how I feel.

The best friend, turned boyfriend, turned ex-boyfriend and I have not been speaking. It was really hard for me in the beginning. I had relied on him since I was a teenager and now he was nowhere to be found. It was if the world around me was crumbling as I knew it and my solace was no longer apart of my world. I truly felt abandoned by him and was starting to resent him for leaving me, knowing all that I was going through. After some time passed I began to realize that this was God preparing me to venture out on my own and to realize that He is all that I can count on and who I should seek in times of need.

I finally decided to head down to Texas. It has been a long road but I've finally made up my mind about it. I have started applying for jobs, no bites yet, but I have gotten emails saying that I qualify for some and for others that the job has been filled. It hasn't deterred me though, at least I know that my applications are being reviewed. I'm excited about the whole transition and I can't remember the last time I have been looking so forward to something.

My lease will be up on my apt at the end of May so I will either stay at my parents house or with my sister until I get a job offer there. I've had a couple people suggest to me to just save enough and move there even without a job and that I'd find one in no time. Still not totally sold on the idea of leaving my secure, full-time job, to move somewhere with family or friends in hopes of getting a job so we'll see. I am heading there next weekend to look at some apartments and neighborhoods so that I know what my target area will be.

I decided to try networking in hopes of meeting some people in Texas who could help point me in the right direction. In the process of that I met a guy whose really sweet and funny. We talk on the phone til 3am like we're in high school. Thank goodness for technology, we send pics back and forth all day every day. I am planning to see him when I go next week.

That is all that has really been up with me so far. I am making it a point to keep my thoughts pouring. I also want to begin sharing more with you guys, I'm so used to holding back in an effort to save my feelings that its beginning to affect me and not in a good way. Take care, talk to everyone soon.


Young woman on a journey said...

so glad to have you back! i'm glad that you are making decisions and seeing the good out of situations. it seems like you are taking the direction in which God is guiding you. and nothing is better than that! so good to have you back!

Anonymous said...

Woah, guess it's good to let it all out. This is a lot to be having to deal with, and I can totally relate.

My mind keeps going back to your brother and his new wife. Can I say intervention? I know that women can sometimes cause men to loose control, but your brother has got to figure out another way to deal. Or else get the marraige annuled. Don't stay in a relationship that brings out the worst in you I say. If it's just him taking things out of proportion, that's something different. I don't have any advise for that situation. I hope it all works out.

Trish said...

Young Woman-Thanks! I missed you guys. I am really out to accomplish some things so this is going to be interesting.

Buttahfly-I agree with you about not staying in a relationship that brings out the worst in you, I unfortunately dealt with that before. I am not sure what to do either, the worse part is that they moved to another country right after they got married so we can't really sit them down to talk, we do webcam and phone calls but not the same. I spoke to my SIL as a woman though and told her that what he is doing is NOT ok but that I can't tell her to leave her husband. She has to decide when enough is enough and hopefully its before things can get any worse.

Miss.Stefanie said...

Wooaaah! This sis too much to take in!

1. Welcome back Trish! I missed you!

2. I ma happy to se eyou are making decisions for progress,

3. Wow.... I am not a woman beater fact I think I would have slapped my brother right across his face and beat the shit outta him. I don't tolerate that ish and never will. Intervention??


Nina said... is a lot but yes, God will see you through it all.

Trish said...

Stef-Aww thanks! See the hard part is that she doesn't want me telling him that I know what he's doing to her. He's isolated her from her family there and its all a big mess. My plan was that everyone in the States stop sending him money until he gets his act together but my sister said that its not fair that his wife and stepson suffer because he's being an animal.

Nina-So true, with Him I can do all things.