Outside Myself

Unfortunately, I didn’t hold it together as well as I wanted to in my meeting today with Dragon Lady, the sup and union rep.

As I figured, they wanted to call me to a meeting to reiterate what they asked in the emails, basically chastising me about the emails. I told them that I felt like I was being hassled and how everything that I did was under scrutiny and that I hated coming to work and something had to change and soon.

My supervisor said that I didn’t have common sense when it came to office practices and I lit into her. I told them that the meeting was pointless because I know that the write up is coming. I also told them if they thought I was so incompetent then they should fire me because I am tired of them finding little things to complain about.

Another thing they pointed out was that Wimp asked me to type up a form for him. I typed the form and emailed him saying that I had the form ready in my office when he was ready. They said I was being disrespectful expecting him at his title to come and get anything from me and I should have taken it to him. My reply was, “Yeah, cause I was asking him to fetch it huh? I must be so insignificant that I can run stuff all around but he’s too good? He comes down for anything else. If he had a problem with getting work from an amoeba like me, he should have said so.”

I relayed to them that in seven years of working for my company, you are the only two who have ever had a problem with me. Everything I do is wrong, and if I’m so useless and you want to get rid of me just fire me because I’m tired of being harassed.

Dragon Lady said that she wanted me to say I’d do better. I honestly couldn’t say it, felt like making a deal with the devil. I’m getting written up anyway, not about to kiss her a$$.

The union rep was really sweet; she kept trying to calm me down. She spoke during the meeting asking what harm the lack of copying did and my boss said that it wasn’t what happened but what “could have” happened. After the meeting, the union rep came in my office and she told me about how God never gives us more than we can handle. That was somewhat comforting but I just wanted to leave for the day.

So I know that soon enough I will be away from here. As the countdown nears, I am going to seek opinions on what to include in my two week notice. I know that somewhere someone likes their job, one day, I’d like to be one of those people.

Meeting

So my supervisor came in my office about an hour ago telling me that Dragon Lady would like to meet with me to discuss my poor work performance last week. It took everything in me to not throw the lamp on my desk.

I had spoken with the union rep Friday after all those emails so she and I had plans to meet Thursday. Well I called her today to tell her about this meeting they want to have and she advised me to email them saying I wanted union representation.

I've been with my company over seven years and although I pay union dues bi-weekly, I've never had to use them. I feel mad and cornered. They are trying to make me out to be incompetant over some stupid a$$ emails. Not like the work wasn't done. The more I think about it, the more pissed I am.

After sending the email to them about my wanting a rep there, I wanted to email them my two week notice. I called my dad, my clear-thinking conscience. He said not to let them mess up my plans and the reason I chose the date I had was because I wanted to have a certain amount of savings and I should stick to that date.

It is going to take everything in me to stay here until then. One of my BFF's counted down for me that its only 16 more work days before my notice. That seems small but then again, so far from now.

Nagging

Today has been one very stressful day for me. Dragon Lady and my supervisor are both tag-teaming me with emails that are to cause trouble for me. Here's an example of one:

Trish,

I received this email from Wimp and I don't see where you copied Dragon Lady or me on the original communication that you sent to Wimp and Nice Guy regarding Employee A's FMLA Notification. Your instructions include a requirement that you copy Dragon Lady and me when you forward. Please explain.

I have no idea how to reply to this email. It has been sitting in my inbox for a couple hours. The other email from her is similar and the email from Dragon Lady is asking why I never replied to an email from JUNE although the work itself was done, no email was sent.

In both cases the work was done on time and correct but they want to gripe about a damn email. I'm just mad. I work with the pettiest bit$#es on earth. I am almost convinced I am changing my last day to sooner than I originally planned. I don' t know how much more I can take from them before I let them know how I really feel.

Manic Monday

My morning started off an hour too early. Some howling dog made it impossible for me to sleep. When I finally did drift back off to sleep it was only for like ten minutes and I was really annoyed. I wanted to find that dog and smack him.

Once I got up, magically he had stopped all the noise. My mother is such the morning person and she greeted me with a "GOOD MORNING!" All I could do was grumble and start getting ready for work.

The supervisor from hell is back today and she has yet to reply to my email. I already know that this is going to be some drama. I'd rather hear a no, than to be kept in limbo. She has been making all the conversation with me too which is ticking me off even more.

Last night I watched the ten best moments on Bridezilla and I was so happy that they finally took my suggestion of doing updates. I hate to say it but there was one of the couples they highlighted that was now divorced and that got a cheer out of me. I'm not saying that divorce is good but that couple just was not right for each other. I can't believe how some of the women act on that show and yet I stayed tuned faithfully every week.

I have been playing the Wii Fit and I love it. Well everything but when you step on the scale and she says "OH!" She's a real smart @$$ but it's really helpful. I've been trying to encourage my family to get more active and eat better. According to the game, they are all obese and I just want them healthy.

Last night my sister asked me what has been up with me. I told her nothing much really. She said that I've been really withdrawn. What she sees as withdrawn I see as alone time, sometimes I need that. You'd think with everyone having cable in their room that I wouldn't have to fight them for the livingroom since the bedroom I'm in doesn't have cable, but thats not true.

I cleaned the kitchen yesterday after The Marrying Man and his other half and my neices all left. I swear every dish in the house was dirty. My sister had offered to help but she said later. I told her I'd leave her some then. I called her later to ask if she'd still help but she didn't reply so I just finished up.

It's been hard getting myself settled in and somewhat unpacked because I'm always cleaning up behind other grown folks. The countdown has begun until they move and while my parents don't bother me, my sister is just lazy as hell.

Irritated

I know I should be happy that it's Friday and I am. But I just wanna get something off my chest that has me mad this morning. My supervisor is off this week at a conference. She has been checking her emails because I have gotten responses on emails that I was copied on.

Well I sent her an email requesting time off next month, but do you think she replied? Of course not. I have never worked in a department that pitched such a fit about time off. The company gives us the amount of vacation time that they feel we deserve per year. So what I want to know is why is it that my department thinks they can regulate that?

I'm mad because the tickets that I had been looking at went up $150. I would have just booked the tickets but after they played me last time, I knew better. There has to be someone that I can talk to about this bs. I think that its time to really get to know my union rep.