Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Ugh and Ugh!!

I'm sure from the title of this post, you can tell I'm annoyed. Let's start with this...


Due to the recent student concerns regarding the Japan Tsunami disaster and nuclear radiation levels, we are considering moving the MBA International China Trip to August 7-16, 2011. We thought it would be in the best interest and safety of all parties that we push the dates back. Considering these new dates, please let me know your availability to still participate.

Talking about someone who is pissed off. I already took off the days next month from work and what is even worse is that the new proposed dates are not negotiable and that is budget time at work and it's damn near impossible to get a day off, much less more than a week.

Next up is Teddy....I'm almost certain that there will be no union joining the two of us. There are several reasons that bring me to this conclusion, but mainly the fact that he doesn't trust me that has me questioning whether or not I can go through with marrying him. He feels that if I want things to work out with him that I should be willing to do ANY and EVERYthing he says for the sake of our relationship. While there is no doubt in my heart that I love Teddy, in my head I can't rationalize needing to prove myself to him. One of the things that would help him trust me is if I gave up "The Nightlife". I went out two weekends in a row and he has now labeled me a "clubber."

The thing is, the nights I went out, were times we weren't even seeing each other, so it's not like I was taking away from time between the two of us. I just can't fathom giving up hanging out with BeBe and the girls because of Teddy's insecurity.

This is all pretty surreal to me at the moment. While nothing surprises me, I am in awe that I'm dealing with this. UGH!!!


Jameil said...

Wow. That is extra rough. I don't even know what to say. It's better to get any huge concerns out of the way before you say "I do."

GorgeousPuddin said...

Could his trust issues be baggage from a past relationship? Has he been cheated on? Girl men are such a trip when they've been cheated on...

Trust issues are hard and it's hard to prove to someone you won't cheat. They have to be secure with that themselves.

So sorry you have to go through all this...

I swear these word veris are tripping me out.

It's mender

Trish said...

Jameil-You are absolutely right. The craziest thing was him trying to convince me to marry him in the next month or two. Now I'm starting to feel like the only reason he wanted to rush is so that he could keep an eye on me sooner and be more at ease about my whereabouts.

GP-Yes, he has been cheated on by every girlfriend he has had. I also lied to him a year ago about the extent of my relationship, before he and I even got together with the crazy guy I dated last year. My thing was if you haven't trusted me in over a year, why be with me still? Why propose?

I swear sometimess the words I get aren't even real words for verification!!

Anonymous said...


First of all, I'm glad you won't be exposed to any nuclear radiation, but... UGH! Will you be losing any money?

Secondly. Man. This is rough. First off, I feel like on some level he is right - you should want to do any and everything he asks to make the relationship work - on the flip side of that coin HE needs to not ask you to do unreasonable things.

You do want to be able to follow your husband, so he needs to know how to lead, right?

Even I would never suggest that Bear didn't go out. In our situation, I just wanted him to do so in a way that was respectful of me - and we have (crossing fingers) found that balance.

For the record, when we didn't live together, I never suggested he didn't go out, and actually encouraged it.

How far away from each other do you live?

Have you considered premarital counseling?

Trish said...

Mia-No, I won't be losing money but it just sucks that I may not be able to go in August because of work.

I see what you're saying but then again, it's controlling to me. I want to be able to have my man and friends. I really don't know what to do at this point. A part of me is saying run for the hills and the other part says well...if you want to be with him maybe....I'm...just....torn. We haven't spoken since this happened three days ago. Like you said, I understand the whole submissive thing, but to abuse that isn't right.

I encourage Teddy to go out but he doesn't have any friends to go out with. Hopefully he will meet some new people at his new job.

He and I live a little over an hour away from each other. The craziest part is that we've done premarital counseling. In counseling, he was smiling and nodding and even said what he got out of it afterwards. But when we got into this fight, he yelled that the counseling was really primarily to help me with my rage and not us as a couple. It hurt to hear him make that comment about counseling because he led me to believe that it was helping our relationship.

Nina said...

Woo woo woo!!! I'm sorry honey. Let's hug it out!

Honestly,with the whole Teddy thing...what is he working on? You can't just expect the other person to change and you do no changing yourself or just refuse to see your faults in the situation.

Its sad that you realize you guys aren't working out but its much better to recognize the dealbreakers now before you say "I Do."

Things don't get better with a marriage. They get worse because the person feels like they've got you.

I know its complex and all...but...serious red flags.

I'm not on BBM anymore..I have an Android...you can email me anytime. :)

Veronica said...

Teddy better get it together! he's going to have to let go of the insecurities. it does nothing but suck that life out of relationships.