Wednesday, April 20, 2011


Lately, I've been battling with one of the worse cases of insomnia. Of course a lot of it is stress related and due to the termination of my relationship with Teddy.

The craziest part about all of this is that I haven't had a cry fest about all that has happened. I've thought about contacting him a couple of times, it has been over a week and a half since we've last spoken. The thing that keeps me from reaching out to him is the coldness in his words during our last conversation.

I'm getting a much needed break from life and getting to see my friends and family. I am super excited and can't wait to be in the company of people who fight with me but at the end of the day we can reach a common ground or agree to disagree.

I've tried taking Melatonin but that actually kept me woke and had me resembling a zombie the next day at work. So last night, I tried a CVS sleep aid and although I still woke up several times during the night, it wasn't for prolonged periods of time.

I hate this part of break-ups, getting through the "grieving period." The sad part is that the insomnia started before we broke up because of the constant arguing. I actually thought that ending the stress he was bringing to my life would bring peace but it hasn't.

The worse part in this whole ending of the relationship is telling people. I hate having people in my business and was against my coworkers announcing it at work. I hate when people pity me so hopefully I won't have to cuss anyone out for wanting details, because people are just nosey. I'll tell my family officially this weekend just to have that out of the way.


Jameil said...

The grief and (endless??? it feels so endless...) telling are sometimes worse than the ending of the relationship itself. Ugh. I'm glad you have a good support system.

Nina said...

Dang...can you hold off on telling everyone? The first question is..WHY? Its just you really want to know?

Anonymous said...

I've been putting off commenting cause I haven't known what to say.

I can't imagine the roller coaster of emotions that you have been dealing with.

I hate telling people that things are over. I remember when I asked Bear to move here I didn't tell any of my "real life" friends - just in case he changed his mind. In fact, even when he got here I told everyone he was just visiting. And I kept reminding everyone it was only for a year... just in case he decided to leave.

I can't take the questions and the... pity? I don't know the right word.


Just know that we are here for you!

(PS - When I need to sleep I take a Tylenol PM or a simply sleep. Try one of those!)

GorgeousPuddin said...

Same here. I didn't know what to say...But take care of yourself. After my break up I tried to do things to take my mind of(shopping)and make me laugh(watch Comedies). This is when having good friends helps glad you have them too!

Veronica said...

whew! I'm glad I'm not the only one that takes sleep aids after a break's HARD is...

And i'm sorry to hear about yall breaking up but keep yourself busy and keep loving you, get into other thigns you love and the next thing you'll'll be over him and he'll come crawling back. They ALWAYS come back. But remember even if it seems that you aren't, you're the one on top and you're the one in control of the situation.


Trish said...

Thanks everyone for all the support! I haven't heard from him as of yet, I doubt he calls. I'm glad to know that I'm not alone in needing help sleeping.