Tuesday, March 15, 2011

To Be or Not to Be....A Bridesmaid

As I've mentioned in past posts, I've been blessed with wonderful friends. These aren't your regular "girlfriends," they're wake up at 3am to listen to you cry and vent and the type that you're never a guest when you're at their home.

Then we get to my cousins....one of whom is only two months older than me and we've hung since we were little as well. The other, her sister, we've had gotten really close through the years too and then we fell out Labor Day because of a fight with her daughter's father.

Next up is my sister-in-law. She isn't the typical, speak-when-you're-around-her-and- that's-it, sister-in-law. We've been on all day shopping excursions, she call to check up on me, just because and we even took a vacation to Myrtle Beach together.

I say all this to say that with all these people, plus my sister, who is Maid of Honor, I have too many people who want to be a part of the bridal party. The number of ladies including my sister totals eight. While eight isn't an enormous number, Teddy does not have enough men to accomodate a bridal party of this size.

I thought to cut the cousin I fell out with, but her sister said if I cut her sister, to keep down confusion, she would sit out as well. Sounds like I'd be #Winning, right?(My sister has me saying that mess, lol!) But no, I really want my closest cousin in the ceremony. Also, in one breath she says she'll sit out, but the next, how she can't wait to see what dresses I've selected, talking about indecisive.

Since the wedding is October 22nd, I don't have much longer to decide what I'm going to do about this situation. I know that ordering dresses takes a while sometimes and I don't want any issues because of me.

I'm giving myself until the end of the week to notify the participants in the wedding party. I've been in a couple of weddings and honestly, I don't want to be in any more, so I'm not sure why so many people actually want to be bridesmaids....Any advice???


adire said...

why not use your brothers on his train?

adire said...

Also, will you share how he proposed?

Jameil said...

I've actually never been a bridesmaid so I imagine that's why. Also, it's an honor! Your cousin doesn't get to decide who a bridesmaid is. She wants to participate but doesn't want the drama of dealing with her sister's hurt feelings. I think the best advice I've heard is to think about the long term ramifications of your decisions. In the long run, how much of this will matter? Who are the people you really want there with you when you're getting ready and to support you when you plan and things get hairy? Could the other cousin be a hostess or greeter or you don't want her participating at all? Think of your ideal number or what Teddy can match and prioritize your peeps like that. You see I've thought about/talked to people about thi sway too much.

Trish said...

Adlre-My brothers are going to be standing up for him, but even with them, I won't have enough guys. I will have to post a story about the proposal.

Jameil-When you put it that way, I guess I understand. It's not that I don't want my cousin to participate, I just don't have enough guys to walk the women down the aisle, so if cuts need to be made, Drama cousin is the first one to go. Fave cousin feels that the only she'll be a bridesmaid is if they both are bridesmaids. Is that blackmail? Now I see why some women turn into Bridezillas!

How does two women to a guy seem to you all? Ghetto?

mia. said...

The last thing I want to do is be in a wedding - too much work, expense. I just wanna be a guest!!!

And if I were getting married tomorrow I would have one brides maid and one matron of honor and everyone else would just have to look really pretty in pictures.

That being said, it is YOUR day. You shouldn't get blackmailed into having to pick bridesmaids. Jameil said it best when she said you should involved the cousin in other ways... maybe she can read something during the wedding (I read at Cee's) or be a hostess or something.

Keep us updated!

Trish said...

Mia-Reading is a good idea. Hmmm...maybe I could incorporate scripture for her. I was so frustrated that I considered getting expensive dresses and informing everyone that they had to throw me an expensive bridal shower to weed out some people, rude and passive-aggresive I know!

GorgeousPuddin said...

How many people do you have so far?

I don't think 1m walking 2f is ghetto. I've seen it.

I've also seen the maid of honor come in alone before.

It's your day you can do whatever you want, but you do want people around who will have your back when things get hectic.

Sending positive thoughts your way.

P.S. my sister got married I was not in her wedding my feelings were not hurt. I spoke at the wedding and reception it was fine. Do you!~

Nina said...

i agree...get some of those ladies to do stuff during the wedding/wedding festivities. if they're really happy for you, they won't be upset if they're not an actual "bridesmaid"...

Trish said...

GP-My sis told me that they'd never find my body if I didn't have her as a bridesmaid....so I guess she made me an offer I couldn't refuse! Lol! Thanks though, you're right, I can have it however I'd like it to be.

Nina-So true, there are no small parts, just small actresses! Thanks!

GorgeousPuddin said...

I looked for your email... The movie club is online. I added more info. Join us!

Jameil said...

Two women to a guy is fine today! If you want to have all your homies up there, do it!

Jade said...

Congrats on your upcoming nuptials!!!

Trish said...

Thanks guys!!

JADE!! Where you been??!!