Tuesday, March 22, 2011


I know that I should be focusing on wedding planning but I've been super stressed. I blame school, work and Teddy. We're supposed to take our engagement pictures this weekend. The rate at which he's been on my nerves....I can only imagine how the pictures will look.

I'm not one of those people who believes that marriage fixes everything. In fact, I think the opposite. While of course, I want to get married, sometimes the thought of forever, scares the hell out of me. I think that when your mate gets on your nerves, they don't go anywhere, there are just in your space.

Over the last few days, my communication flaw has been brought up again. I have no clue why Teddy thinks just because we're engaged, that now I will be thrilled to answer a shitload of questions. ***Newsflash, I still hate being asked a ton of questions*****Also, I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but he also thinks that I should be forthcoming with everything, the present and the past. The past sucks the worse...I don't see why he feels he needs to know every waking detail of what has happened to me before I even knew him.

I say all this to say that he has me stressed. I'm not sure what to do at this point. On one hand, I think that I should change since I know that I should be willing to answer my spouse's questions and share things with him. On the other hand, I think hell, I've been this way since the beginning, don't expect change now.

Today has been a very hellish day for me, can you tell?


Reggie said...

I didn't have a big wedding, hell I barely remember my wedding; but I have been married for almost 22 years. I'm amazed to see the preparation and money put into weddings these days. I truly hope that you enjoy your wedding and the life that you make for yourself after that as well.

Trish said...

I've been hearing that a lot recently from other married couples. I have a large family and I live over a thousand miles away, I keep thinking that a wedding will come together nice. I just hope that we can make it until then. Thanks Reggie!

Jameil said...

Why should you be focusing on planning? You have other stuff going on in your life. Just set out some time every week to get it done and try not to let it drive you crazy. Also put some of those overzealous BMs and wannabe BMs to work! Let them find you vendors and DIYs if you are looking for some! Martha Stewart Weddings has an AWESOME online planner and budget tool. You can delete and add lines as you need them but it gives you a timeline and an outline. I only suggest it if you aren't afraid of detail, though because for big picture people, it can be incredibly overwhelming. (See: my BFF Stace... She HATED the idea of that thing! I think it's awesome! LOL)

Can you try giving him a specific no. of questions to answer at a given time (about the present... I don't get the point of knowing all past everything either) and try to work up to a happy medium for both of you? This one is hilarious to me b/c I drive Rashan up and down a wall with all my questions! Things will get better but don't push yourself to be insta perfect future wife!

Trish said...

Jameil-I've been really blessed to have friends and family helping me pull things together. LOL to Stace! I am a picture perfectionist, I'll take the same shot 5x if necessary.

It still makes me laugh that you and Teddy are kindred question buddies. The latest thing is that he'll let me put off the question as long as I answer it in a reasonable time frame. I asked, what if it's something about my past that I never want to answer? After his shock to that response wore off, he said we'd have to cross that bridge when we got there. I'm looking for that medium!!