I've tried posting about the BFF's visit for the past half hour and Blogger is just working my nerves. I will just talk about my weekend and attempt to share his visit later.
This was a very busy weekend for me. I'd like to say one of the busiest weekends since I've been here. Guess what everybody! I went to a movie alone today! It was so liberating. I saw A.rmored and I really enjoyed it. I also went to church today, the mall and T.arget.
When I got home I started on laundry and a bit of cleaning, although it won't all get done today. Wanna hear something messed up? I bought a bottle of wine from the store that I was going to have with a bag of popcorn as dinner. Why oh why did I bust it as I got it out of the car?! If anyone happened to look out the window at that very moment, they would have saw a grown woman having a temper tantrum. I was so freaking mad but all I could think of was that must mean I wasn't supposed to have it.
I've been doing so much thinking lately. Thoughts all over the place. I am so sure some has to do with the new year upon us, I attribute the other portion to the fact that I'm in a new place and thinking about the unknown.
I had a real fear of the unknown when I was younger but this move has definitely taught me that when it is all said and done, as long as I'm obedient, I will be taken care of. I have been thinking about relationships a lot too. It's like I know that I want a husband and kids, but then I think of all I will be giving up. I cherish the little things, like being able to have the temperature in my place on the setting I want. I think about knowing that what is in my refrigerator when I leave for work will be there when I get off. I think about being able to come and go as I please now and how I will have to also let go of that.
Then all that thinking started to give me a headache so I pushed it aside for the time being. I have to say more than I am ready for a family, I actually have to be ready. There's a great guy in my life who wants all these things with me but at the same time it scares me.
This is too much thinking for a Sunday night. I hope everyone had a good weekend. With me not getting a signal at home the past couple of weeks, my blogging has been really scarce. I know that I need to just throw in the towel and subscribe but I didn't want to get cable/net and I haven't fuly furnished my place yet. But anyway, enough babbling.
7 comments:
i feel you girl. when i got my first place alone, i didn't have cable for like three months, and i was stealing internet. but then everyone locked their ish and blockbuster got expensive. so...
anyway, i feel you on the marraige thing too. i guess for me right now, both seem even. like i'm giving up companionship for comfort. and i view relationships as giving up comfort for companionship. perhaps when the right person comes along, we won't see it as an either or but as a both and!
I used to like going to movies by myself, but now I just watch movies online.
Did you say popcorn and wine for dinner? Sounds like a plan. Too bad you dropped it.
Don't hurt yourself with the thinking too much. When the time comes, you'll be willing to share your space.. or just get him a man cave and tell him to leave you alone. LOL
I am so happy for you! This time is exciting!
I remember having my own place and walking around naked - air drying - it was June then, lol. The freedom of having your own, man...nothing like it!
Lol @ the temper tantrum. Yo, I swear if I had my own reality show, there would be many moments like such. Enjoy it, girl! :)
YW-Im thinking of getting movies out the Red box for now. I heard the new season of Bad Girls Club started but since they aren't paying my bills..I'll just have to miss for now.
I know you are right, when its the right time I won't care about the things that seem so important now.
Rashan- I love the cave idea! Maybe I will hype him about about it by naming it the Bat Cave!
Nina- I am definitely enjoying the perks of my own place. Its getting to the point now that by the time I'm home, I don't want to talk on the phone but rather just relax!
going to the movies alone is so nice. no obligation to talk, no one you have to shush the whole way through. i would've been mad about the wine, too! you gotta let go of that family fear. you'll make a way. when rashan and i are together he totally lets me control the thermostat. :)
Jameile-Admitting I have a problem is the first step, right? Lol! I think its fantastic that Rashan and you have that arrangement, my husband will definitely have to relinquish all rights to the temperature in the house!
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