Continuous Downpour

I get a text Saturday that my Grandmother is in the hospital for dehydration and depression. I don't think she has been taking care of herself and eating since my Grandfather passed. Instantly I felt bad to hear this news. Truthfully, I've just been praying for a week of peace. My life has been in turmoil since May and I would love to have a week without tears.

School will be over soon and I cannot wait. One of my professors is so unprofessional. We had a scheduled meeting and he pulled a no-call, no-show and did not even apologize. Then the other class I'm taking, our group had the exact same answers as another group, we compared, he graded us significantly lower, like gave them an A and us a C. We emailed him about it, he re-checked and said he stands firm...but there is still the matter of us having the same answers as the group with the A. I don't know how to approach him again without throwing the other group under the bus.

Yesterday my mom texts that one of my brother's wives was in a very bad car accident and her car was totaled. I said to myself, I guess that stress-free week won't start this week. Thankfully, she is okay. We don't get along per se, but I do not wish bad on anyone.

I went to church Sunday for the first time in a couple of months. It felt good to be in the house of the Lord. I truly feel like my life is different when I'm away from church for an extended period of time. I got a call from the dealership and my car MAY be ready this week.

Peace be still........

The Saga Continues...

So all was well for about a week until today when I get a text from Nbr that said "Stop Emailing." Say what now?! Why didn't I just ignore him? I didn't want it to seem like I was guilty. In retrospect, I wish that I had not paid any attention to him.

Apparently, his woman is at it again, this time emailing him from a fictitious email that is supposedly mine. He is such an idiot to even believe that I would do this. Those two fools deserve each other. I called the non-emergency police number and they said that officers would have to come out and take my report in person. I made the call while I was at work and there was no way that I wanted that drama at my job.

After a few heated texts back and forth, he says that he and her will both change their phone numbers and email addresses and that way he will know for sure it's not me. I told him that I would just give the police his work info if they need to contact him. Then he flips the script asking me why I was angry and mentioning his job? Uhmmm...because someone threatened me last week and has my personal info and now you're saying they are emailing you as if they are me.

All fingers point to whoever this SHE is that he's with. He told me to move on with my life and he would do the same. I moved on months ago asshole, tell your bitch to get a life, stop being insecure and grow up.

Needless to say I had a breakdown outside at work. There are so many other things going on in my life that I've been keeping bundled in and this isn't helping. Thankfully no one was around and I pulled myself together before I went back into the office. I wish that I had cut him out of my life months ago.

Those of you that pray, mention me tonight. I haven't been sleeping well and feel like one more little thing will set me off.

How Old Am I?

The other morning at around 3am I get a text asking how I am, what I'm doing and if I'm busy with my new man. It was from a Minnesota phone number and I know no one near there. I text back asking who it was and it was downhill from there.


Early the next morning, I get a response saying that I knew who it was. They began trying to torment me saying that I was sleeping with their husband, then changed it to fiance' and later referenced said guy as their boyfriend. The person knew my address, where I worked and threatened to come over and show me how upset they were. They called me all kind of names but trust me I got back with them on every comment. I was baffled that one, someone was playing on my phone and two, who on earth was this person talking about?!


I originally assumed it was someone that I recently began talking to and I called him out on it. Needless to say that the guy did not take the accusation well and blamed the Nbr. I thought to myself, yeah right, seems like he's deflecting.


You can only imagine how surprised I was hours later to get a text from Nbr asking me if I was playing on his phone. Then goes on to say SHE said I was playing on her phone too! Hold up, SHE who?! I didn't even know that he was seeing anyone. I couldn't believe this was happening. The guy was right, this all had to do with Nbr. He sends me texts that were supposed to have come from me. The person knew very personal details about our relationship. I've surmised that it was either Nbr doing this or the person he is now with trying to make sure that he and I are totally through with each other.


I am so glad to be done with him. This year keeps adding on more and more drama for me. I cannot wait until good things begin to happen in my life because I am so over this foolishness. Nbr later apologized and said he was going to file a police report? Uhh...it's the person you're with if it's not you, so why file a report? Just stupidity at it's finest. I need peace.

I'm Hit

Literally and figuratively, I've been hit. My cousin came into town over the weekend. The trip was going pretty well until this drunk driver hit the hell out of us. After I gave him a verbal lashing and got myself together, I was able to look at the damages. He completely crushed the back of my car with his pickup truck. What is even worse is that he tried to get away but thankfully, the street he turned on was a dead end and his truck was making a ton of noise.

I was able to flag down some police that were already working at the scene of a fatality on the freeway. My neck hurt instantly and I was eaten by mosquitoes in my club gear, which consisted of a mini dress and 3 inch heels.

The officers that assessed the situation of course deemed it was his fault but I was now without a car. Thankfully, a friend picked us up at around midnight and took us home. The next day I went and rented a car and of course I had to pay out of pocket since the insurance claim office was closed.

There are a lot of other crazy things going on but I am getting a headache just thinking about them. I am blessed that things are not worse than they are. I will be happy once my car situation is handled and I am no longer in pain.

The Visit

My visit home went nothing like I could have planned. Nbr never made the flight because I told him that our living situation wasn't working for me anymore. After making that comment to him, communication between us pretty much came to a halt, although we were still living in the same household.

It was definitely an emotional plane ride as the person who sat in his seat sat there without a care in the world. When I landed at home, I headed to the baggage claim and turned on my phone to see I had missed calls and texts. As I went through them I returned a text from one of my brothers, only to get a response from him telling me my Grandfather had died while I was en route. I was totally blind-sided and looked like a blubbering idiot crying as I waited at baggage claim.


The rest of the trip was pretty much downhill from there. I was able to see my friends but I was just in a funk. I lost my bank card, got pulled over by state troopers and had to pay a fee to extend my reservation to stay in town until after the funeral. My way with dealing with the loss was to drink which was a horrible idea. I went out one evening with my girlfriends and the entire night was a blur.


Nbr never called and checked to see why I wasn't back home the day I was supposed to. When I arrived home, the majority of his things were gone but he had left his puppy, which was covered in feces. Seeing her and the mess he left did nothing but infuriate me. It has now been about three weeks and his things are still here. After attempting to contact him and having no luck, I gave his dog to a family that could provide her with the TLC she needed.


I am glad to be done with that chapter in my life, or I will be once he comes to get his things Friday. I have no desire to speak with him and wish to God that I didn't have to be here when he came to collect his things. This is definitely a time that I have to put on my big girl panties and keep it moving. As my sister so eloquently pointed out, I should have learned from this lesson.

Taking it All In

Well I'm home sick today and said I must blog if it kills me, which for the record, I felt like I was dying from food poisoning last night. So there has been an addition to the odd little "family" that Nbr and I have. She has four legs and I'm pretty sure she is the anti-Christ. She's so cute but bad as all hell dog. She and Baby were the same size, now about six weeks later, she is double her size and will only continue to grow. Nbr doesn't seem to realize what all goes into caring for a puppy. I told him that I feel she needs to go but I guess he is waiting for a breakthrough miracle. She whines all day and all night, pees as soon as you take her out of the crate(which you have to keep her in, she's chewed on four different spots of the walls and the cable and internet cords). Nbr is doing well, we have our moments but what two people don't? He makes me laugh to the point of tears sometimes and that's one of my favorite things about him. Guess what else? His kids and I have been getting along great and I can't tell you how much of a weight that has lifted from my shoulders. To add on to the mix of he and I, we are going "home" to visit my family in a matter of weeks. This will definitely be interesting as he has only met my sister. He kicked up a fuss some weeks back about how he hasn't met my family, my comeback was well they live over a thousand miles a way, and a trip was born. I'm on a small break from school and then I will be embarking on my FINAL semester!! I don't want to say it aloud but I am so happy, it has definitely been a struggle dealing with group mates. I am taking myself on a trip when its all said and done, I'd love to lay on someone's beach, but I owe a certain Mia a visit...... That's it for me now, I hope all is well with each of you. I come back to log in to blogger and everything has changed. I need to get some of your urls so i can type them in at work. I only have two, I refuse to login to blogger there because "The Man" is watching us there. I think I hear Nbr at the door now with my ginger ale. There are definitely perks to this thing! Talk with you soon!

M is for Mad

I’m not quite sure exactly when it happened. Somewhere along the way though, in my twenties, I started biting my tongue. This has caused me to taste blood quite a few times while the other person walks around oblivious. This is something that really bothers me about myself recently. In fact, a recent incident with BeBe caused me to decide that I am tired of trying to be a people-pleaser and avoid conflict. I wouldn’t say I’m a people-pleaser all around, just to the people that I really care about in my life.

In my younger years I would fly off the handle, cussing people out without thinking twice about it. I remember once being in a video store with my sister. There was a man in the store and he said something to her and whatever it was, it sent me into attack mode. I snapped on him quick and drew blood. My sister rushed in to defend the man saying he was joking and that she knew him from church, I felt so ashamed. I hurt so many people that I made a conscious effort to change and hadn’t looked back. The problem is that I let things go too far, where I have let too many things slide, repressing my true emotions, besides only weak people show emotions anyway, right?

Yesterday the NBR made me VERY upset. He knows that I was mad but he doesn’t know the true extent. If I was one of those drama females, I would have truly acted a nut on him, but in true fashion, I downplayed my anger and when his mother came up to me asking how I was, I blamed my tears on a migraine. To make matters worse, our drive home included us happening to exit the freeway on the exit that Teddy lives on, which is an hour away, that I NEVER pass. It was just a bad day all around for me and I wanted to put my fist through his face, although I’m not one for violence, I was just very angry.

He knows that I am still angry with him, he has been going out of his way to be all chipper with me and extra affectionate but I’m not feeling it. He called me on his way home from work like he normally does but I ignored the call, I don’t want to talk to him any more than I have to. Why didn’t I just address all this yesterday? I didn’t want to have to drive an hour and a half uncomfortably maybe or maybe I am still in the same predicament with not dealing with confrontation. Either way, I’m not just mad with him, I’m also angry at myself…