Continuous Downpour

I get a text Saturday that my Grandmother is in the hospital for dehydration and depression. I don't think she has been taking care of herself and eating since my Grandfather passed. Instantly I felt bad to hear this news. Truthfully, I've just been praying for a week of peace. My life has been in turmoil since May and I would love to have a week without tears.

School will be over soon and I cannot wait. One of my professors is so unprofessional. We had a scheduled meeting and he pulled a no-call, no-show and did not even apologize. Then the other class I'm taking, our group had the exact same answers as another group, we compared, he graded us significantly lower, like gave them an A and us a C. We emailed him about it, he re-checked and said he stands firm...but there is still the matter of us having the same answers as the group with the A. I don't know how to approach him again without throwing the other group under the bus.

Yesterday my mom texts that one of my brother's wives was in a very bad car accident and her car was totaled. I said to myself, I guess that stress-free week won't start this week. Thankfully, she is okay. We don't get along per se, but I do not wish bad on anyone.

I went to church Sunday for the first time in a couple of months. It felt good to be in the house of the Lord. I truly feel like my life is different when I'm away from church for an extended period of time. I got a call from the dealership and my car MAY be ready this week.

Peace be still........

Insomnia

Lately, I've been battling with one of the worse cases of insomnia. Of course a lot of it is stress related and due to the termination of my relationship with Teddy.

The craziest part about all of this is that I haven't had a cry fest about all that has happened. I've thought about contacting him a couple of times, it has been over a week and a half since we've last spoken. The thing that keeps me from reaching out to him is the coldness in his words during our last conversation.

I'm getting a much needed break from life and getting to see my friends and family. I am super excited and can't wait to be in the company of people who fight with me but at the end of the day we can reach a common ground or agree to disagree.

I've tried taking Melatonin but that actually kept me woke and had me resembling a zombie the next day at work. So last night, I tried a CVS sleep aid and although I still woke up several times during the night, it wasn't for prolonged periods of time.

I hate this part of break-ups, getting through the "grieving period." The sad part is that the insomnia started before we broke up because of the constant arguing. I actually thought that ending the stress he was bringing to my life would bring peace but it hasn't.

The worse part in this whole ending of the relationship is telling people. I hate having people in my business and was against my coworkers announcing it at work. I hate when people pity me so hopefully I won't have to cuss anyone out for wanting details, because people are just nosey. I'll tell my family officially this weekend just to have that out of the way.

To Be or Not to Be....A Bridesmaid

As I've mentioned in past posts, I've been blessed with wonderful friends. These aren't your regular "girlfriends," they're wake up at 3am to listen to you cry and vent and the type that you're never a guest when you're at their home.

Then we get to my cousins....one of whom is only two months older than me and we've hung since we were little as well. The other, her sister, we've had gotten really close through the years too and then we fell out Labor Day because of a fight with her daughter's father.

Next up is my sister-in-law. She isn't the typical, speak-when-you're-around-her-and- that's-it, sister-in-law. We've been on all day shopping excursions, she call to check up on me, just because and we even took a vacation to Myrtle Beach together.

I say all this to say that with all these people, plus my sister, who is Maid of Honor, I have too many people who want to be a part of the bridal party. The number of ladies including my sister totals eight. While eight isn't an enormous number, Teddy does not have enough men to accomodate a bridal party of this size.

I thought to cut the cousin I fell out with, but her sister said if I cut her sister, to keep down confusion, she would sit out as well. Sounds like I'd be #Winning, right?(My sister has me saying that mess, lol!) But no, I really want my closest cousin in the ceremony. Also, in one breath she says she'll sit out, but the next, how she can't wait to see what dresses I've selected, talking about indecisive.

Since the wedding is October 22nd, I don't have much longer to decide what I'm going to do about this situation. I know that ordering dresses takes a while sometimes and I don't want any issues because of me.

I'm giving myself until the end of the week to notify the participants in the wedding party. I've been in a couple of weddings and honestly, I don't want to be in any more, so I'm not sure why so many people actually want to be bridesmaids....Any advice???

Time Escapes Me

I took the GMAT and it was very difficult. I am awaiting to hear from the graduate schools I applied to. There has been no drama at my apartment, other than lightening striking my next door neighbor's outlets and blowing a fuse at her apartment.

Things on the workfront suck at the moment. My office flooded and I had to move to a conference room with a coworker whose office was also flooded. It is also budget time at my job, which means overtime. The only problem with the additional hours is that I'm salaried so I am just getting comp time. I have to work both Saturday and Sunday, this weekend and next.

My family is good, my sister and little brother both now want to move here. The only problem with this is that they both want to live with me. My plan was to use a roomate locator service to help me find a roomie so that I can start building a savings. My sister confronted my idea saying, "you'd rather live with a stranger, than me?" The answer to that question is yes. The reason behind that is not only because she isn't clean, but because of her huge, disobedient dog.

There isn't much else going on with me. Momma Teddy and I have plans to go see the new Julia Robert's movie next month. Oh yeah!! My BFF married Miltary Man. I talked to her today and they are planning to start trying for a baby the next time they see each other, since they are in two different countries at the moment.

I guess I will get ready for bed since I have to be at work at 6am. I hope everyone is well.